Sex-Box 360

Sometimes, when I'm not too busy showing my human captors how to program their VCRs, I like to indulge in hot geeky gaming action.

Luckily, since the advent of wireless remotes and stuff, I can now hold a control pad relatively easily in my flippers from the comfort of the shallow-end of my pool.

Unfortunately the month of January is decidedly poo when it comes to game releases and February, like a whore, is flaunting its offers yet is unattainable.

In light of this travesty of events, I have decided that instead of playing older-games (ewwww), I will:

Learn to identify at least 12 stars by their names

Perfect my James Stewart impression

Polish my Star Wars replica Lightsaber until it gleams

Try NOT to insult the French for the next 19 days

Finish my guide to "building the perfect Murloc trap". This should be available in all good book shops and probably quite a few nasty ones by next November.