Oh you silly things! Kangaroos are NOT just big fat mouses (meece? mooces? mousii?), they are, in fact, a completely different species altogether!
This may come as a shock to you, as it did to me, but it's completely and utterly-butterly true!
The main differences between a kangaroo and a mouse is that you can never catch one in a mouse trap, they dislike cheese (they prefer pickled onions and marmalade) and they have a pouchy pockety thing on their tum-tums.
Scientists and philosophers have, for centuries, wondered what is kept inside the pouches of the kangaroo. Now, for the first time in history, i can reveal that the contents are as follows:
1 x plastic hairclip - you never know when you're going to need to look stylish at a moments notice and so a glittery plastic hairclip is essential when meeting new marsupials at the water cooler.
1 x Darth Vader lunchbox - keeping an apple, a bourbon cream (with the regulation 10 holes-not those cheap ones), and a marmalade sandwich cool when hopping around the Outback would be impossible without a blue plastic lunchbox with a picture of every one's favourite Sith Lord on the front.
2 x marker pens (blue and red) - only weirdos use green ones.
1 x pad of Post-It notes - to ensure other giant mouse-like beasts remember to attend your meeting about littering, quarterly sales figures or hopping-comparison charts.
1 x packet of McCoys Ready Salted Crisps - ridged for her pleasure.
1 x purse/wallet - for storing loose change, not so loose change, incredibly unloose change, two stamps and a small, undisclosed amount of blue fluff.
With the above knowledge embedded in our brains, we can all feel a small step closer to our antipodean, springy chums and, just maybe, learn a little about ourselves too.... erm.... err.... or something...
