Interview with the Smypire!

Even though my human captors are usually very nice to me, cleaning my tank, bringing me fresh beach balls when i pop them from getting too excited, wiping the keyboard of my Dolphin-O-Type 2000 if I spill stuff on it, they can occasionally be a little dull.

They talk endlessly to one another about the weather, world leaders and the price of vegetables. None of which appeal to me. So in an effort to get some seriously interesting conversation, I decided to talk to my food... erm... i mean "friends", a fellow fish. Turns out his name is Brian.

Me: Hi there! How pleasant to talk to you!

Brian: Eeeeeeeek! Y-y-y-y-you're going to eat me, aren't you?

Me: Ha ha.. of course not. I just thought we should get to know one another, since we share the same pool.

Brian: You ate my friend, Colin 20 minutes ago.

Me: That's different. Colin was a salmon. Salmon taste amazing! Especially with a nice side-salad and some boiled potatoes. So anyway, what brings you here?

Brian: What BRINGS me here? One minute I'm happily swimming along, minding my own business then I'm suddenly grabbed in a giant net, transported uncomfortably in a bucket with the word "FOOD" written on it and dumped in here.

Me: Yeah, that's a real bummer, so erm.. Any hobbies? Do you like watching films?

Brian: I don't see the point. My memory is about 26 minutes long. I always find myself wondering "Is he the good guy or the bad guy? And where did he get that sandwich?"

Me: So err.. where did you decide to make a home here in the pool?

Brian: Colin and myself had found a fabulous little hidey-hole just beside the fake plastic treasure chest. We'd just started decorating. Colin was on his way to get supplies when you ate him.

Me: Umm... are you a salmon?

Brian: As a matter of fact I am...erm... wait a second... err...

The interview ended at this point as Brian had to leave omm..for an appointment or something.