We're all going on a....summer holiday.
Well, that's what Sir Cliff said and, let's face it, he'd know (he's related to God, doncha' know?).
Each year, quite literally zillions of people flock to the beach to bake in the sun and turn a shade of brown that resembles toasted bagels. At least that's the plan. As a dolphin, i have watched with interest from the comfort of the ocean (wearing factor 15 waterproof Ambré Solaire) as Britain's attempt to catch as much of the sun's attention as possible by wearing nothing more than dental floss and spreading themselves liberally over a Union Flag beach towel.
Unfortunately, the British public fail to realise that most of them simply aren't designed for warm climates. After a few torturous days, most of them have turned the colour of lobster thermadore, are complaining of blisters and severe dribblyness from their nether regions and can only manage to eat Jacobs Cream Crackers for the rest of the holiday.
Most of the British people i know are scientists and therefore 'geeks'. They assure me that their natural colour is a light shade of blue and the closest most of them get to daylight is to answer the door for Mr Postman as he delivers yet another video game or a new shiny nerdy object.
Personally i quite like being grey. It's a neutral colour- easy to match with and its also quite slimming.
