Let us spray...
Oh Smylexx, who art in water
Smylexx be thy name
Smy will be fun
In puddles and in fish tanks
Give him this day his daily fish
lead us not into temptation
to eateth John West tuna
for brine is his kingdom for ever and ever
amen.
Let's face it, I'd be an ACE god. I'd issue all my followers (di-smy-ples) with a fantastic alternative to the Bible - a 'Smyble' which would not only be dead interesting, contain thousands of otter related factoids and be completely water-resistant, but it would also have bits to colour in and a crossword at the back (5 across: four letters, tastes nice, rhymes with 'dish').
And unlike similar religions or c*lts, i wouldn't threaten you if you tried to leave. I'd simply follow you around for about three months, poking you with a spoon every two minutes while asking you why you left until you realised your mistake.
I'm pretty sure that I'd look fantastic in a robe with some nice tassels on the front and the lucky chosen few in my congregation each week would get to ring my bell and gaze upon The Mysterious Pebble for up to thirty seconds.
My commandments would be dead fab too!
Thou shalt not eat the fishy that Smy wants
Thou shalt not touch the fishy that Smy wants
Thou shall always offer Smy a fish finger before having one yourself
Now, does anyone know anything about how to achieve deity status? I think it has something to do with being a carpenter or something. Does that mean that Harrison Ford is a god too?
4 comments:
And unlike similar religions or c*lts, i wouldn't threaten you if you tried to leave. I'd simply follow you around for about three months, poking you with a spoon every two minutes while asking you why you left until you realised your mistake.
That's awesome mate:)
Laughing to bits
On the third month i'd also introduce a spork for extra poking. Just to make sure.
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