When I'm not swimming around chasing a small salmon named Gerald, i like to spend my mornings by flippering away at the keyboard of my Dolphin-O-Type 2000 computer. Unfortunately there is one thing that can really ruin the excitement of fondling my inbox and that's JUNK MAIL!
Who are these people that spend their days writing this stuff and sending it to me? Why do they feel I'd be interested in Viagra, Hot Cheerleaders indulging in an act that will probably make them go blind, a brand spanking new credit card or an invitation to claim a fortune that belonged to a Nigerian king who (with just my bank details and passwords) will be happy to pass it along forthwith?
Don't they realise that i get my Viagra free from my scientists friends?
Don't they understand that i can intimidate Gerald and three of his salmon friends to perform any act i want by just glaring at him?
Cant they see how pointless it is to offer me a credit card? How would i sign the back? I cant hold a pen for flips sake and the ink would run!
As for the Nigerian king, see above. No bank would offer me an account as the only proof of identity i have is a little tag on my flipper that reads 'specimen 1138/b - pet daily and do not feed it chili sauce'.
All spam-mailers should be scraped with the mysterious pebble then made to jump in a giant bag full of bleach. Twice.
6 comments:
Chili sauce,, does it have some kinda of negative affect on your goodself,,do you get kinda giddy?
I'm not supposed to talk about it. Let's just say there was an 'incident'.
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