After my human captors have stopped poking me or asking me to point to the card with the picture of the fishy on and gone home for the day, I like to play the occasional videogame.
Although most game controllers don't fit well in my flippers, i struggle on and often get scores of 3 or 4 points..sometimes more! I happen to be very good at Track'N'Field though as i get Geoffrey the goldfish to hit the 'Jump' button for me at exactly the right time.
While playing Bioshock late into the evening, it occurred to me that those slinky marketing types have missed a fantastic otter-tunity and so i decided to drop them an email...
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Dear Take 2 people.
I love the idea that more and more game developers are taking the extra time to offer the game buying public deliciously exciting 'Collectors Editions'.
Bioshock, as I'm sure you're aware, comes in a variety of flavours including a metal tin with a Big-Daddy statuette inside.
Although i was initially upset to find that it wasn't 70's wrestler Shirley Crabtree (aka Big Daddy), i soon pulled myself together and stopped crying.
Would it be possible to offer the public something that would be more useful than a statuette of a fat bloke in a diving suit? Something much more important?
While playing Bioshock yesterday, it occurred to me that i had to stop playing every 28 seconds to ensure i hadn't wet myself in fear therefore i would like to suggest the following exclusive pack idea:
Bioshock in a large waterproof tin including the following items -
-One adult sized nappy
-One spare set of brown trousers (elasticated waist to ensure one size fits all)
-A Teddy Bear with a friendly smile(probably named Colin or Nigel)
-A blanket (to hide under) with a nice picture of Paddington Bear on the front.
-Periscope - to search for monsters with while safely under the blanket.
-A Care Bear/My Little Pony DVD for settling the nerves afterwards.
I'm pretty sure this would be a huge success and i for one would probably order 2 copies.
Regards
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It reads as follows:
| Response (Gary Webber) | 09/09/2007 12.26 PM |
| Hi Smy. Thanks for the suggestions, I'll pass this on to the relevant people. Incidently, thanks for providing some much needed humour. | |
Does this mean that they aren't taking my requests seriously?
5 comments:
this is a most lucrative idea, my flippery-friend! I would have required something much the same when playing Eternal Darkness or when watching all seven seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Eternal Darkness should come complete with a torch with no batteries in it... geddit? I am so funny sometimes.
My laughter is as dry as crisps, but with less salt.
And no vinegar this time, if you please.
Word jokes, my favourite. More than twice a day I get a shovel smashed accurately over my forehead to make me shaddap with the jokes. Obviouly, my IQ decreasing like that - they're just getting worse!!
Whadda-ya think you -do eh?
Gadda no respect?
*something something* *somthn* eh?
*something something*
It's a nice-e dayh,
it'se nice-e place,
so shaddap-ayh-ourfac-e
A fantastic record which kept Ultravox's 'Vienna' off the number-one spot in the UK charts!
You GO Joe Dolce! Go girlfriend. Raise the roof..etc...
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