If we've learned anything from watching sci-fi movies over the years, it's that in the future, we will all have robots and that these robots will, with no uncertainty, be gay.
Take a long hard think about any robots you have seen in films and you will notice that in every single case, the little metal helper will be camper than a row of pink tents.
Not that I'm homo-robo-phobic you understand, I'm simply stating the fact that if two of these robots were left together in a room with a bottle of WD40, the chances are that they'd end up indulging in some hot metal-on-metal action then redecorate the room with throw-pillows and pretty matching curtains.
Personally, I'd love a gay robot. I imagine they'd do a fantastic job of lubing my blow-hole from time to time..... wait, I'll rephrase that... erm.... err.... OK, let's just move on.
C3-PO is undoubtedly never going to be seen drinking directly from a beer-bottle anytime soon and would probably insist on putting a coaster down before ordering a fruity cocktail in any establishment that would serve him.
If the Daleks and K-9 had arms, you could bet your stamp collection that they'd probably have a lovely pink prada handbag swinging from them as they minced into battle.
HAL from 2001 and KITT from Knight Rider were only ever a few seconds away from mentioning that their human male friends' shoes didn't really match their pants and they both reportedly used to complain often about feeling bloated or blaming Hollywood for not making more Wizard of Oz sequels.
The Smash Potato robots.... well, do i even need to try to convince you about them?
The only exception to the rule is Metal Mickey, a forgotten early 80s metal love-machine that had a thing for older women and fizzy bon-bons.
If anyone can inform me of a totally heterosexual robot, please let me know. These are the kind of things that keep me up at night!
4 comments:
you missed out some of the other gay robots, johnny five from short circuit, Huey, Louie and Dewey from silent running,,that big gay robot from lost in space.
I am however gonna say that theres no way the cylons are gay,, or marvin the parinoid android who is also not gay,, if he could just get some hot chick robot action he might just perk up a little, , ,
I'm not convinced by the cylons one little bit. All that saluting and saying 'By Your Command!' and stuff... in an all-male environment such as an army based in deep space, they've bound to have played 'the biscuit game' together.
Do we know for a fact that Marvin isn't paranoid because he's worried someone might find out his 'guilty secret'?
Well as much as I'd like to believe that most the transformers are masculine and powerful warriors, I have found doubts after reading your post!
I mean what kind of straight robot would insist on having a matching car to their gear? Have you ever seen so much golden paint in your life?
And it doesn't end there, in my childhood I remember seeing them all transform into one giant robot, all oily and sweaty - holding around each other. Coincidence? I think not.
Even Optimus Prime has a few feminine twists to his wrist when launching those cannons.
Optimus Primadonna is definately dubious. Isn't he the leader of the Trans-sexual-formers?
And Go-Bots?
Gay-Bots more like.
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