Smylexx and the Chocolate Factory

In an effort to bring the most important news directly to your eyeballs, I have been in contact with famous UK chocolate experts "Cadbury" in order to get to the real scoop on their famous Creme Eggs.

Below is a copy of the original email which i expect a response to any second now...

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Hello chocolate people,

With Spring fast approaching and the Creme Egg becoming more popular than ever, i have a few questions about this incredible product:

1. Could you confirm if the hens required to lay the eggs are Battery or Free-Range?

2. What are the chances of Mr Cadbury's Parrot being infected with Avian Flu?

3. Has Cadbury ever considered alternative "creme" products for strict vegans - a Creme Turnip, perhaps?

4. How many Creme Eggs would you require to make the perfect omelet?

5. Are the eggs layed with the foil wrap on, cos that would hurt, or is it added later, perhaps by a big machine with gears and levers and steam and rubber gloves on the end of shiny silver rods?

Thank you for your time,

Smylexx the Dolphin.

P.S. - The last time I queried something (about 4 years ago), my response came from someone named "Charlie". Can you confirm if all workers in the chocolate factory are called Charlie or was this, in fact;

a coincidence

a result of sneaky recruitment regulations

some sort of freaky cloning experiment in which DNA from the original Charlie is taken then used to create an army of workers

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I will update this post the very moment the lovely Oompa Lumpahs get back to me!