March!!

White Rabbit! White Rabbit! White Rabbit!

Oh, I feel so much better for getting that out of my system.

Yes, it's March, my favourite month of the year. March is quite possibly more sexy than finding 27 baby ferrets in your sock-drawer.

As everyone knows, March is also quite special cos it's also my Birthday month. I shall expect presents, cards and requests to touch my dorsal fin in abundance. As well as preparing yourself for my birthday, here are some other fascinating facts about the month of March:

March is named after the Roman god of chocolate bars.

In ancient times, we used to go straight from February into April and skip March entirely. This was because March had locked itself in its bedroom and was listening to The Cure tracks and refused to come out because "no one understands it".

March was last years semi-finalist in Sexy Months Magazine poll. It narrowly lost out to Leo but only because Leo threatened to pull March's ears off.

March rhymes with more stuff than April...like erm...Larch... and err.. ..omm.... no, that's it.

In Shakespeare's Julius Ceaser (a story about a little fluffy dog who enjoyed canned dog food and conquering Gaul), he mentions "the ides of March". As we all know, Ides are small lobster-like creatures that lay eggs in our brains when we sleep.

March is banned in Denmark to make room for the annual Bagel festival "Bagelscmokeundapancakefeshht" This consists of daily consumption of bread-based products and talking endlessly about Hans Christian Andersen.

Did i mention it's my Birthday soon?