As everyone is aware, on the 25th of this month Star Wars will be 30 years old. For those dolphins who haven't seen it, the plot appears to be as follows:
A gay robot and a midget get an email from some classy chick with nice buns.
A heavy breather who likes wearing black leather Wants to get hold of the classy chicks email or her MySpace passwords or something.
The gay robot and the midget flee to a sandy planet where they get picked up by some scruffy midgets in a tractor.
Meanwhile, a dirty old man finds a young boy unconscious in the desert, fondles him in front of the midget and the gay robot then takes him back to his cave where he uses "force" and waves his "sword" at the young boy.
The old man takes the young underage boy to a bar (probably with the intention of getting him drunk), where he waves his sword at another man before talking to some bloke named Hand-Solo and his friend, a giant space-otter.
They all fly off together to meet up with the classy chick with the nice buns but get sucked aboard a giant round thing that has holes in it. Let's call it the Space-Crumpet.
The old man waves his sword at the heavy breathing, leather wearing man but the leather man's sword is bigger than the old mans' so the old man disappears but NOT before slipping into the young boys head.
The young boy and Hand Solo and the space otter almost get squished and the young boy gets a giant testicle wrapped around him or something. The classy chick grabs Hand-Solo's pole and this stops the walls from moving and makes the Space Otter dance a bit.
They all escape with the nice-buns chick then come back later with some mates to destroy the Space Crumpet.
Their friends are rubbish and all shoot their milky white missiles too early and they splash harmlessly all over the Space Crumpet's entrance but the young boy remembers how the old man liked to use force and shoots his payload right into the Space Crumpet's forbidden hole which makes it explode.
The Space Otter and the others all get medals and the midget looks dead happy.
A heavy breather who likes wearing black leather Wants to get hold of the classy chicks email or her MySpace passwords or something.
The gay robot and the midget flee to a sandy planet where they get picked up by some scruffy midgets in a tractor.
Meanwhile, a dirty old man finds a young boy unconscious in the desert, fondles him in front of the midget and the gay robot then takes him back to his cave where he uses "force" and waves his "sword" at the young boy.
The old man takes the young underage boy to a bar (probably with the intention of getting him drunk), where he waves his sword at another man before talking to some bloke named Hand-Solo and his friend, a giant space-otter.
They all fly off together to meet up with the classy chick with the nice buns but get sucked aboard a giant round thing that has holes in it. Let's call it the Space-Crumpet.
The old man waves his sword at the heavy breathing, leather wearing man but the leather man's sword is bigger than the old mans' so the old man disappears but NOT before slipping into the young boys head.
The young boy and Hand Solo and the space otter almost get squished and the young boy gets a giant testicle wrapped around him or something. The classy chick grabs Hand-Solo's pole and this stops the walls from moving and makes the Space Otter dance a bit.
They all escape with the nice-buns chick then come back later with some mates to destroy the Space Crumpet.
Their friends are rubbish and all shoot their milky white missiles too early and they splash harmlessly all over the Space Crumpet's entrance but the young boy remembers how the old man liked to use force and shoots his payload right into the Space Crumpet's forbidden hole which makes it explode.
The Space Otter and the others all get medals and the midget looks dead happy.
Now, it doesn't sound very good, does it? I'm pretty sure my version is 100% accurate...if only there were a few websites on the subject so i could check...
How will YOU be celebrating the triumph of the midget film?
How will YOU be celebrating the triumph of the midget film?
1 comment:
Mints.
Lots of mints.
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