Magicians

Harry Potter is ACE, isn't he? Yes he is. Yes he IS! but, let's face it, most other wand wranglers are a bit, well, rubbishy.

Most of them tend to do the same old shtick. Oh, you know the score, they'll find the EXACT playing card out of a shuffled pack, make a little rubber ball disappear and reappear under a metal cup and, on occasion, will saw a "lovely assistant" in half while she's encased in a magic box.

Paul Daniels used to suggest that we, the audience would like his tricks "not a lot" and, to be fair, he was correct and therefore was not subject to Trades Description penalties. But SOME of these white-rabbit fondling sickos actually feel that they're impressing us!

David Copperfield once made the Statue of Liberty disappear and also walked through the Great Wall of China while looking dead cool in his shoulder-padded jacket, bouffon hair, shades and leathery skin. Personally I'd like to see him make the Pyramids disappear up his bottom (with some cool dry-ice and scantily clad ladies posing to make it look more "arty").

And don't get me started on David Blaine. No, really, if i start I'll never stop then I'll feel all angry and take it out on the haddocks later.

The only exceptions are Penn & Teller who do all the same tricks as everyone else but at least add the vital elements of violence and breasts into the mix. I love you guys.

Anyway, erm... does anyone know where I put my beachball?