While in my usual spot at the edge of the pool, casually flippering my Dolphin-o-Type 2000 computer, a little cod came over to me and mentioned that i should try using a mouse instead of using the keyboard.
The cod seemed very sure of himself and so, using my incredible high-pitched sonar skills, i attracted a group of rodents to the edge of my pool.
I ordered them to type for me but they were flippin' useless! Between them they managed to type "gjwr r r roityuyh..eiwcheesejjjsjsi, dmduhhhhh".
The cod popped over again and said "No, no, no! A mouse is something you roll in your hand on a mouse-mat instead of using cursors and tabs and stuff."
Again, the cod seemed VERY confident so i picked up one of the mouses (meese? moose? what IS the plural?) and rolled him about in my flipper.
As i attempted to "double-click", there was a little squeaking noise followed by a slight crunchy-crunchy noise and i realised that my "rolling and clicking" seemed to have made the mouse go all soft and squishy and it had left "mouse-juice" all over my keyboard.
I'm sticking to using the buttons from now on. Meeces are rubbish! Perhaps badgers would be better...
10 comments:
mice?
don't ask me, i'm foreign
smy what have you been eating !!!
one mouse lots of MICE!!!!!
and i thought dolphins were smart!
I think the reason that the meeses had problems typing is cause they have claws on their paws and these would slide off the computer keys. You mightb find that badgers have the same problem, the nice thing about this is that they damage your keyboard and you can then sue them and get a newer model Wooooo!!
I also think that u should eat the cod which gave u such bad advise on the use of computers.
After all you shouldn't play with your food.
Some questions for you.
How would u tempt badgers to the side of your pool?
How would u stop them from biting you?
I only ask because I hera badgers are very tasty.
Seen as dolphins are so smart I would like to pose you some questions.
If you could dig a hole through the Earth 2 the other side, would u come out feet/tail first?
Why does heat rise?
Why does the Sun never go out?
Where do stars go during the day?
Is it true that mice are smarter than dolphins?
Smy, seen as you hate you human captors, have u ever tried to escape, and if so how did it go?
If you are planning another escape attempt shortly, I have discovered that Humans cannot hear the word 'Ni' without cowering in fear. This might be a little hard to pronounce with you being a dolphin but it needs to be said in a high squeaky voice to have the maximum affect.
Tsk! The plural of Moose is "mice". Everyone knows that.
As for the other questions, ahem... here goes:
I would tempt badgers to the pool by attaching a slug to a ball of wool then flinging it as far as i can with my tail-fin.
Badgers dont bite, they suck.
If i could tunnel all the way through the middle of the Earth, i'd get trapped in the gravity about half way in and simply float about like a lottery ball.
Heat rises to make sure owls feet don't get cold at night.
The Sun doesn't go out because it has no friends. It prefers to stay indoors and read a nice book about penguins...made out of asbestos paper.
Stars go roller-skating during the day or play crazy-golf with comets.
Meeses are rubbish and definately aren't as smart as dolphins. They smile less too.
If they were intelligent, bits of mouse wouldn't currently be stuck to three of my keyboard letters.
I don't dislike my human captors. One of them tickles my flippers every day.
They also feed me free-fish and clean my pool. They even built me a little plastic castle in the deep end.
I'm not too keen on their "scientific tests" though. They get in the way of my majestic leaping through hoops and beachball balancing.
One of them smells of Marmite too. Not pleasant.
Marmite
O____________________o bleøh
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