There are some mysteries even more mysterious than a mysterious fishtank, some questions have puzzled mankind for millenia.
Why is Jade Goody still famous?
How do The Krankies have sex?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel after a shower?
These are all super-puzzling but, perhaps more perplexing than all of those questions is 'what is inside a ladies handbag?'
I sent an undercover seahorse to investigate and the results were as follows:
One elastic band type thing -possibly to tie hair back with but could quite easily be used to strangle a weasel or as a makeshift bungie cord for assassin otters.
Just over £3.27 in loose change - the exact amount required to buy a nice piece of cod and a can of mushy peas.
A photograph of Neil Diamond -compulsory.
A packet of Polo Mints - which COULD be eaten or used as lifesaving rings for drowning butterflies.
A small device which we couldn't categorize -looked like a small pretend mouse in a tiny telescope. We're guessing it came from a Kinder Egg.
With the above knowledge in our heads, I'm pretty sure we can all sleep much more soundly tonight. I'm going to have an early night just to check.
5 comments:
Fits perfectly! But here are some (not as compulsory) ingridients that may comply to most handbags:
Sticky Shiny Sparkly Lipgloss - for polishing furniture, waxing a snowboard or a last minute touch up on those stressful days.
Trendy Handkerchief - for a makeshift boob on a flat day or simply for blowing noses in.
One Stick of Old Mint Gum - for that minty freshness and to hold together a broken heel or to seal in noise of whiny children.
Algae Vodka Shot - for a makeshift boob, for silence of the child, for a last minute touchup or just to blow ones nose in.
Hahahaha... love it.
Wonder why Nigel the Seahorse didn't spot those..perhaps he's holding out on me!
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