A Creepy Tail.

Ahh the crackle of the fireplace, the smell of pipe smoke mixed with leather bound volumes of Otter Bi-Monthly Magazine. Welcome to Smy's study.
It's time to curl up at Uncle Smy's feet..erm...tailfin and prepare to have your pimples well and truly goosed as we begin a frightening tale of dread and fear!!

On a dark and gloomy Halloween night in the deepest, darkest section of the pool, a happy little dolphin named Smylexx was splashing around, making friends with a small salmon named Giles and dreaming about hoops. As he swam along his eyes became transfixed on a pebble...a mysterious pebble which seemed too compelling to ignore.

Smy gingerly nudged the pebble with his beak (yes dolphins flippin' have beaks, ok?) and before he could say 'otter-cornography' he was transformed by sinister powers into a hideous beast; aSmypire, a Dolphinstien, a were-dolphin!!

Instantly he felt the dark energy inside him..it felt a bit like the time he'd eaten three pot noodles in a row while watching a Jennifer Lopez movie. He felt unclean and nauseous but also a little bit pervy and tingly around his dorsal fin area.

The other fish dived for cover, cowering in the seaweed and, since they couldn't close their fishy little eyeballs, they wrapped their heads in duct tape as the evil Smypire swished through the water. Of course, this was pretty much the reaction they always have to Smy since he tends to eat at least one fish out of every group he sees -two if they're salmon.

Soon though, it became apparent that things were now much worse for the other pool users as the sneaky dark dolphin had begun to build a shrine to Marilyn Manson and had started to install speakers in each corner so he could listen to the most evil music in the world - Mmm Bop by Hanson.

One night, as Smy the were-dolphin was slinking around his castle, the other fish grouped together and formulated a plan to put an end to his naughtiness. One of the smarter seahorses had the perfect idea-a secret weapon but just as he was about to show the others the door to the castle burst open and the terrified group were confronted by the Smypire!!!

Smy had invested in some rubber fangs and was finding it hard to speak but he whipped his makeshift cloak around for added effect and began to hiss " Tho..you have come to dethroy me? Me? Thymlexthh the motht thexthy and deliciouthly yummy dolphin in the whole world? How very DARE you!?"

The fish tried not to giggle and slowly backed away but Smylexx lunged towards them, whisking his cape about a bit more and adjusting his fangs. The plucky seahorse dived towards the evil dolphin and threw his weapon at him - an Abba CD attached to a picture of that dude who played Anakin Smywalker in the crappy Star Wars films that no one likes.

The weapon plunged into smy's heart and, in a blinding flash of light, he recovered...immediately he transformed back to his usual self and quickly ate one of the bewildered salmon. "But how?" He lisped, "How did you turn me back?"

"That's easy." Said the seahorse, "My weapon transformed you into a Bjorn Again Christensen!!"


You may have just groaned... this is normal.